date: september twenty-sixth, 2024

subject: acid

was thinking about stomach acid. i think. can't remember anymore.

at long last, almost all of my packages have arrived! save for a backpack that refuses to show up i guess. i can't wait for november.
now that i finally have the handmaids tale, i can get to devouring that before i go order the testaments. i've always wanted to get into margaret atwood, so i'm excited! here's to hoping i get around to reading more books (or at least buying enough to fill a bookshelf...)

school is getting more difficult now that a single class has major roadblocks, but hoping tomorrow i can get the issues sorted out and maybe find a solution. if not, i can try to withdraw and enroll in a different class i think. i think. otherwise i'll just have to figure it all out.
been looking at some school events and seeing if i can even attend, as well as having some tumultuous thoughts about the future and what that means for my academic and professional life. by the end of the year there'll be an entry confirming my plans for the coming years. or at least concepts of a plan hehe

getting more stressed today. but can't really avoid the stressors, so. whatever. trying to accept the things i can't change and all that stuff.today's entry is obviously less happy sunshine optimistic the way the older one is, i think it's the stress talking. the last few days have been really nice, just lots of buildup with issues that i can't really fix. i hate when i can't change or solve any issues, i hate it even more when i'm panicking because of deadlines and i can't change or solve anything prior to them. whatever. i'm trying my best. it's not my fault people are stupid or irresponsible or incompetent. i am only in charge of myself (and oré, but that's besides the point) and nobody else.
here's to hoping the end of this week and the beginning of next week have no hiccups or problems, and we all have an amazing time.

date: september twenty-first, 2024

subject: chewing on feet

odd title. i was staring at my puppy and trying to think of titles, but all i could type was her chewing on her feet-- part of her nightly routine. it's been a minute since i last updated, but i finally got a new keeb and mouse so i can fully code again, and (hopefully) finally finish this eyesore of a blog.

it seems i screwed myself over, or jinxed, whichever you like, regarding schoolwork. it's been relatively more difficult to maintain a consistent schedule, especially since certain courses are just so droll that you can't help but try to convince yourself not to do them. i've got two-ish more weeks, then exams, then a month and a week and boom. end of semester. i can do this. i need to get a specific gpa this semester to qualify for a special cohort i'm interested in, and i can't afford to miss out simply because a class was boring. jeez. i'm already typing so much in such little time-- it's nice not having to tap my screen to get the words across.

in terms of my love life, things are going incredibly well! i'm happy i found someone who communicates and enjoys being around me and doesn't feel burdened. maybe i'll make a little intro or blog post about my person soon, i dunno. i never want someone i'm with to be uncomfortable over actions i assumed were okay when i can just . ask them first.

in other good news, i finally got set up with a new therapist, and i really enjoy our sessions so far! he's pretty nice and agrees with me on some helpful things, and challenges me on the issues i have that most people simply provide support for. i have a psych appointment this coming week, so hopefully i can attend and get my meds. then, i've got dentistry to check out why my jaw is magically uneven and popping every freaking day, and then i've got a gastro appointment to reschedule aaaaand a neuro appointment. am i missing something? probably. the only two things more consistent than me and attending doctors appointments is me and drinking sprite. speaking of, ironically, i haven't had sprite in ~ a week or so. i am going crazy.

at the risk of it all falling apart, i'm happy i've met some people that i feel i can call friends for the most part. some people have revealed themselves to be very odd with boundaries or superficial, but thankfully i can just block and ignore. it's my internet experience; YOU must remain qualified to interact with me!

i'm gonna do my r.e.p.o.r.t differently today, only because it isn't too interesting and i kinda hate coding lists teehee. enjoy!

i'm reading... sapiens by yuval harari! i bought it the other day and it just delivered; i miss reading physical books, despite the allure of digital downloads...
i'm eating... rice krispies and pasta! i don't have much of an appetite lately, but enjoying rice krispies. craving mcdonalds and sprite.
i'm playing... movies! i've been watching them with my person almost every night. it's really nice spending time like this, especially with no requirement to speak or be entertaining or stay up until the crack of dawn.
i'm obsessing... over christmas tiktoks and making christmas lists for my person, friends, and family! i don't celebrate christmas in its entirety, but i love giving gifts to those i love, so why not make the most of a holiday literally meant to do that? duh!!
i'm recommending... reading a book about a topic you're interested in! i wanted to learn more about women's tennis history, since i love tennis, and am going to read "all in", about billie jean king, and "althea", about althea gibson! i think it helps us all to not just partake in activites we like, but also learn about them. who knows what you might be missing out on or could use to grow, not only in your activity, but also as a person?
i'm treating... myself to postponing my lax cleanse, and my dog by spending more time outdoors this weekend while we celebrate my mom's 54th birthday.

i hope you all have a great week, month, day, or however long it'll be until i end up updating this again. hopefully soon. i need to download canva or something so i can build a website layout visually and then code everything. i'm pretty bad at just doing things with the image in my head...(she says as she continues to do so)
it's also 3:08 am, so i probably should get some rest. baibai!

date: september eighth, 2024

subject: sunshine

hello again, and welcome to fall!
it's been an interesting few weeks of school, and an interesting few weeks in life overall. i think my hopes for a positive autumn are mostly secured!
school has been really good for the most part, and i'm happy with most of my classes and work. it's nice to fall into a routine again.
i'm moving soon, which is extremely exciting! i also *just* bleached my hair, and it (for the most part) is cute! some pieces are platinum which is . worrying, but also whatever! it'll grow back.
not much of an update, but i don't have too much to share. sleepy. i'll update again soon, and hopefully with good news!